THE PROFESSIONAL COLLECTION
You power through the airport, a can of nitro cold brew in hand. When you hit the security line, the timer starts. With TSA Pre, Clear, and Global Entry, you've determined your chance of being 'randomly' selected down to the decimal. Even if the brawny agent with permanent SecurityFace (sic) flags you, you'll enjoy the chance display your perfectly-choreographed security routine.
Where noobs scrounge for their documents and tramp around in socks, struggling to hold up their pants, your passport, ticket, and laptop, spring to hand. On sight, TSA agents drop their usual chatter and turn to address lost-looking sheep in their charge. You glide through the metal detector without a sound.
More than once you've imagined earning a light applause from onlookers as you stride past the sweating masses huddled around stainless tables, cramming their clothes into full-to-bursting roller bags, or patting their pockets franticly.
You board with Group 1. You're often the first on the plane. You'd been working on a formula for infant repellant before noise-cancelling headphones hit the market. Now you carry two pair (jic). They're your happy place in lobbies, lounges, and on red-eye flights.
You arrive at your destination with the same elan as you left. You're 98% as effective from the back of an Uber as you are when you're back at the office.
Time in the air is your only chance to relax – as long as the wifi stays broken.